Giving it away
I'm reading a great book at the moment - The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards.
It's about the decision of a father to take his Down's Syndrome daughter from the mother at the birth of the girl and her twin brother and give her to a nurse. He tells his wife the child died, leaving the mother only aware of her son's birth. The story tells of the ongoing huge impact the father's momentous decision has on the whole family.
It is beautifully written and the mounting tension and grief of the different individuals over this devastating secret is fascinating.
Aside from the engaging story-line, there is one particular paragraph which stood out for me. It tells of a meeting between the father and the nurse he'd entrusted with his daughter. It talks about how she'd felt she loved the father all those years ago: "She had been so young, so lonely and naive, that she imagined herself as some sort of vessel to be filled up with love. But it wasn't like that. The love was within her all the time, and its only renewal came from giving it away."
Many people I come into contact with through my work feel empty of love when we first meet. They feel unfulfilled and are desperate to have a 'proper' relationship with someone.
Often it takes a while before they see that love doesn't just happen. Love is about being in a position to be able to offer, as well as receive, love. Love is about loving yourself first before you can be loveable to others. About thinking how you can go out into the world and share your friendship, your talents, your warmth with others, rather than how they can fall in love with you.
Get the focus right - giving away your love - and love for you will usually follow.
It's about the decision of a father to take his Down's Syndrome daughter from the mother at the birth of the girl and her twin brother and give her to a nurse. He tells his wife the child died, leaving the mother only aware of her son's birth. The story tells of the ongoing huge impact the father's momentous decision has on the whole family.
It is beautifully written and the mounting tension and grief of the different individuals over this devastating secret is fascinating.
Aside from the engaging story-line, there is one particular paragraph which stood out for me. It tells of a meeting between the father and the nurse he'd entrusted with his daughter. It talks about how she'd felt she loved the father all those years ago: "She had been so young, so lonely and naive, that she imagined herself as some sort of vessel to be filled up with love. But it wasn't like that. The love was within her all the time, and its only renewal came from giving it away."
Many people I come into contact with through my work feel empty of love when we first meet. They feel unfulfilled and are desperate to have a 'proper' relationship with someone.
Often it takes a while before they see that love doesn't just happen. Love is about being in a position to be able to offer, as well as receive, love. Love is about loving yourself first before you can be loveable to others. About thinking how you can go out into the world and share your friendship, your talents, your warmth with others, rather than how they can fall in love with you.
Get the focus right - giving away your love - and love for you will usually follow.
posted by Elizabeth Juffs at 2:00 PM
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